A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
I have a number of friends who, knowing my fascination with all things hammock, send me links and videos, many of which defy description. Here are some I’ve collected and supplemented with my own research.
Warning: weird science!
Hammock Stacks
One interesting thing folks have been doing with hammocks is stacking them up two trees, using each hammock or a VERY long ladder to accomplish the feat. I would bet neither tree could withstand this assault. The hammocks are typically nylon, and the Guiness Book of World Records currently has the record at 31!? That is, until next Tuesday…
31 Stacked Hammocks in Indonesia
The very highest hammock, at pole position, looks suspiciously Mayan. As well as unoccupied. My nerves would be trashed at the bottom of all of this.
Hammock Bonding
ENO, Eagles Nest Outfitters Fuse Tandem Hammock System
A way to find space for two without having additional trees.
I just discussed this with mi esposa (wife). We could play footsie! I have often thought that if two hammocks shared a common anchor at one end, but then diverged, two people could companionably sling out together. Consider the angles!
Slap ten tootsies. Sounds social distanced to me.
One of the most unusual music/hammock celebrations has to be the Electric Forest, in Michigan.
This young man just saved baby sister from a vicious dog attack. Yes, that’s him in the Captain America hood – which covered about 90 stitches. I was in awe, and then I noticed the dual hammock rigs. Very nice, but the Cap’n impressed me more!
Matrimonial, I believe. What are kids for?
Hammock Clubs
A number of educational institutions have created hammock clubs, fueling the desire to sling together! If only they had them when I was a young whippersnapper (I probably never would have graduated.)
Hammock Fails
Fail, never a zone to go to. These clips clearly show why hammock distributors are so concerned about legal action. One should not need to wear a helmet while hammocking, but maybe a thinking cap should be required attire.
They also clearly demonstrate why header bars can be, if not lethal, at least mighty durned dangerous.
Fail Two *
* Some potty talk. You may have seen enough the first time.
Bear with me
A recurring theme in hammock sensations has been the bear meets hammock encounter. The curious creatures seem to recognize the utility of a raised bed, without all of the hazards lurking just below the wobbly surface. I guess these are all called memes now.
My memory is pretty good, but my forgetory is better.
Son Ian, at a precocious age
“Ma’am, that is a matrimonial hammock. Are you sure you’re not married to this bear?*
As those who have hiked in the north country know, getting between a mama and her cubs can be lethal. Being nearby, and waving a cellphone or camera, is also a foolish activity. Bears can lumber at surprising speeds, and depending on perceived threats can attack when least expected.
We have enough bear-footage. Please don’t risk your life filming any more.
(I could not resist that hyphen.)
I most admire the ingenuity of mama bear in finding a stringed (highly strung?) baby sitting service.
Apparently, Moon Bear hammocks work best when anchored at four corners. Not a spreader bar in sight.
My son and I traveled up to Lake of the Woods, Ontario, to meet up with my bother-in-law and his family. They had several cabins on an island in the lake, and it was a glorious time, fishing and soaking up the splendid seclusion. I (of course) set up a hammock just below the cabin, and used the spot to test out my mosquito net. It was a lovely spot to relax, several feet off the water, listening to the loons.
One afternoon as I was laying there, I noticed a small shaggy black dog pass by, almost directly under my feet. I reassessed, and realized it was actually a bear cub. My first thought was to grab a camera, but then as I was having second thoughts (Where’s mama!?) I heard my brother-in-law, in a voice of strained calm, suggest from the cabin porch that I exit the hammock and retreat as swiftly as possible.
I took his advice. Mama never materialized.
Boats
The British Navy quickly saw an opportunity in hammocks to provide bedding for the crew that could be swiftly stowed, kept sailors somewhat above the ecosystem of insects and vermin that typically encrusted a ship below decks, and with a gentle sway could mitigate some of the churning of the nastiest seas.
What I suspect they never would have anticipated was the way hammocks have been adopted on smaller vessels – and the idea that hammock occupants could be asked to provide propulsion. I really like the idea of using a hammock or two, unoccupied, as a set of small sails to harness the breeze and give the paddlers a bit of a break.
Here is an idea. Soak the hammock, and your fanny. See which gives out first. I predict that hammocks soaked throughout their life will be short-lived, but for a good read on Hamilton, this may be an ideal location. Just don’t soak Alex!
Flights of Fancy
Ah, the dream of flying. Ever since the earliest days of balloons, folks have dreamed of flight. Since the birth of Pan Am, folks have dreamed of flying in comfort. Hammocks bring it all together.
I have not been able to locate anyone foolish enough to tie a hammock to two weather balloons and take flight. Please, do not take this idea and run with it. And if you do, please forget you knew my name.
Thank goodness no one has apparently done it; it does seem like something that would end badly. Nor have I seen anyone mass smaller helium balloons for the same purpose. Lawn chairs, yes. In my view, this is a clear demonstration of the wiser nature of hammock enthusiasts.
My elder son and I, a few years back, went on a Groupon fueled paternal bucket list binge. We rode a vertical column of air in a wind tunnel. My most vivid memory is “This is not the time to slobber.”
We went sky-diving, with strangers strapped to our back that theoretically knew what they were doing. They at least knew enough to bring us safely to earth. Thank you!
The most exhilarating experience we had was para-gliding; not towed behind a boat and getting dipped by a capricious skipper, but hurling one’s self off a perfectly good hillside to drift lazily over the meadow below. I was enchanted, and for a while considered purchasing a para-glider. I watched as a nearby group worked up a sweat with hang-gliders, and decided our sails were easier by far. I loved this!
After a while, I decided that this would probably be one of the most spectacular ways I could conceive of to end my days, and restrained myself from making the purchase.
I admit, though, that I had a recurring dream that mid-flight, I could push a button (probably on my belly) and the seat would convert to a large Mayan hammock, drifting over the golden hills of California. And yes, that is really me up there, lost in the joy of flight!
Drones
And finally, from the Country, not the State, of Georgia:
Hammock Tricks
PLEASE don’t try this at home, unless you are an excellent surfer – and wear a helmet!
Hammock Tents
The hammock tents have been around for quite a while. One of the first I kept hearing about was the Hennessey. They make integrated hammock tents with rainfly and bug nets, and are designed for jungle environments. They are the Cadillac of hammock tents, and are priced accordingly. If you prefer nylon hammocks/tents and like to camp, they may have your perfect rig. Based in the United Kingdom, their hammocks weigh about 3 lbs. when added to a pack.
Tentsile is another manufacturer that has made some waves, and won some design awards. They feature a three-sided stack of hammocks/tents that may force you to locate a third tree in your search for a set-up. Their triangular hammocks are interesting.
I just ordered a Haven Tent, and discovered I had fallen for a digital bait and switch. Haven has a beautiful design. What I go was pretty weak tea, and from a completely different company. Some rip-offs use a great design and then ship rubbish from overseas. If the price is too good to be true, it probably isn’t. I’ll see if I can pry my money back.
Here is a link to a good and recent review of hammock tents.
Records, thanks to Guiness
Sooner or later, someone has to do it. Is it sensible? Rarely. Is it fun? Quite possibly. Looking at the Guiness site, I did not see an established record for hammock stacking, although 31 is out there. Here are a few other records.
Who
MAINZPLUS CITYMARKTING GMBH, LA SIESTA GMBH
What
269 PEOPLE lying in hammocks at the same time
Where
GERMANY (MAINZ)
When
31 JULY 2016
The most people lying in hammocks is 269 participants and was achieved by Mainzplus Citymarketing GmbH and La Siesta GmbH (both Germany), in Mainz, Germany, on 31 July 2016.
The record attempt was part of the summer fest called ‘Sommerlichter”.
Here is a link to the company’s web site and story.
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Who
KING DIGITAL ENTERTAINMENT
What
196.31 METRE(S) – the largest hammock
Where
UNITED STATES (NEW YORK)
When
02 SEPTEMBER 2015
The largest hammock has a bed measuring 196.31 m² (2,113.05 ft²) and was created by King Digital Entertainment (UK) and presented in New York, New York, USA, on 2 September 2015.
The bed measures 20.84 m (68 ft 4 in) long and 9.42 m (30 ft 10 in) wide. Here is the YouTube.
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Who
THE HESSENSTAM HATTEM
What
2.5/129.29 METRE(S) – the longest hammock
Where
NETHERLANDS (HATTEM)
When
22 JUNE 2001
On 22 June 2002, The Hessenstam Hattem of the Voerman Scouting Group unveiled a giant hand-knotted hammock measuring 2.5 m (8.2ft) wide and 129.29 m (424.17ft) long, in Hattem, Netherlands. The hammock was so huge it had to be hung between two cranes. Boy Scout Eduard Poot (Netherlands), age 11, was the first person to try the hammock.
The theme of the Scout Troop that year was probably Helter Skelter – “I’ve got blisters on me fingers!”
How to weave a Mayan Hammock
I have described this as almost certainly tedious, but I certainly love the result.
San Francisco Locales
For my locals, where to sling around the South Bay of San Francisco. I’ll have to consider doing an article for the North Bay. With my Prius hammock rack, almost anywhere works.
Mi Mayan Hamaca 